Now be honest, are you thinking about what you want to say before the person you are talking with has even finished what they are saying?
It's kind of embarrassing, isn't it, how often the answer to that question is "YES"?
I have thought about that fact so many times and resolved I will NOT DO THAT and REMEMBER the most important thing I can do is to really listen to what they're saying and NOT WHAT I WANT TO SAY!!
I want to live by a higher code!
A code that is selfless, not a code that is wrapped all up in myself!
I want to listen - to learn and understand!
I want to live with empathy and compassion!
I can't do that wrapped up in my "self importance"!!
I want to live by the code below -
Below are some excerpts from the article at Gillijamtin Creative.
"What is the single most important tool we require to listen well? The answer is simple: Stop thinking about what we’re going to say next and focus on what the other person is saying right at the very moment they say it. This is called “active listening.”
Active listening is reasonably easy to do; we listen to what is being said. We don’t interrupt, we don’t disagree, and we don’t judge! Our responses are non-verbal; we nod, we smile, we may even gently touch the speaker on the arm or shoulder in an empathetic, caring way. Sometimes we may make brief comments like “yes” or “ok” to accompany our non verbal language."
"So how can we tell how well we were actively listening? One way is paraphrasing the gist of what we have just heard back to the speaker. To avoid sounding like a parrot we may begin with, “Let me see if I understood you correctly…” Or we may take one portion of what we had heard and inquire about that. Whenever we ask questions of any speaker, it shows that we have been paying attention."
"Asking for more information about what we have heard makes us likeable. To be an active listener we must be curious. Asking people to tell us more makes us more likable and in return the speaker may wish to help us."
I want to be an active listener!!
i want to be curious and genuinely interested in others!
i want to validate others instead of validating myself!!
i want to live like this quote below -
is that true, or what?
Give it a try this week!!
Be an active listener!
Ask questions that show you are interested and listening!
You can't do that if you are thinking of what you want to say while they are talking!
Have fun with this experiment and see how it changes you and your relationships!
It is a great way to help others shine!!
A huge thank you to Holy Kaw:Alltop for creating this great graphic that spells it all out in understandable terms.